This post may contain affiliate links. Please read our disclosure policy for more information.
Have you ever experienced repetitive disappointment? I mean one upset after another where you feel like you will never get relief. It seems as if despair and hopelessness are affecting people globally. With the recent two high profile suicides from people whom had everything, we have been reminded that money, fame and influence mean nothing if you are emotionally bankrupt.
I’ve had my own personal struggles emotionally and psychologically over the past year. I recently had a conversation with my mother and she mentioned something that made me really think about my physical and emotional state. She said, “You have been sick every month in 2018.” It’s true and this made me sad that for some reason I have been battling with my health for the first half of this year. I even had a co-worker ask me if I was okay. She said, it seems like you cannot stay well. You need a break!
She’s right! I do need a break. How can the writer of this blog, Living in Your Sweet Spot, write to others about purpose, passion and pursuit and be struggling with finding her own sweet spot. Here’s some transparency for you: I completely understand what my gifts and talents are and even what my passions are. However, every time I’ve pursued my own dreams, my health is attacked. I am living in my sweet spot in all areas of my life but my health keeps knocking me down.
Earlier this year, a friend gave me some encouragement that I have been holding on to ever since. She said, “You may have bent, but you didn’t break!” What she meant was I maybe going through something very difficult but it didn’t and won’t destroy me. I still have hope.
Yes, hope! I love this word. When life knocks you off your feet repeatedly, hope gives you the strength to get back up. And, hope looks different for many people. Some people push on because of their children. Some because of their parents or spouses. I love my family but they aren’t the source of my hope. My hope is in God and He gives me strength to overcome life’s disappointments.
Anyone who tells you they have never experienced disappointments is lying to you and himself or herself. Everyone is going to experience some form of disappointment throughout his or her lives. Use the tips in this article to help you get through them.
Focus on the fact that life gets better.
Life goes on, so don’t get hung up on your disappointments. Moving on is your best defense against your disappointing experiences. There are a few instances where this isn’t true. But, overall, the sun will be shining tomorrow.
Use disappointment as a learning and growing experience.
Try to assess why you are disappointed. Is it something you did or didn’t do? If you have control on part or all of the situation, take note of what happened and try not to repeat it. If you don’t have control over it, move on. There is nothing you can do. You can’t change people but you can change you and how you look at the experience.
Learn from others who have experienced similar disappointments.
When you are going through a difficult time, it’s hard to consider someone else’s situation. You are consume with yours and nothing else matters. You can always learn from others who are experiencing similar or worse situations. Seek out these people and ask them to discuss how they dealt with their situations.
Set your expectations about disappointments.
When you expect a situation not to go your way, you will be better prepared mentally for when it doesn’t. Along with staying positive about the situation, keep trying other opportunities. When Plan A doesn’t work, Plan B could turn out to be the better option. This will only happen if you continue and not get tripped up by your disappointments.
Don’t dwell on regrets.
You can’t change the past, so don’t even try. Some people will spend a lifetime worrying about what happened in the past. They get stuck and forget to continue living their lives. Worrying about something you have no control over is counterproductive and pointless.
Have an alternate plan or two.
As I stated in #4, have other options. I can’t stress this enough. When you have an alternative route to take, disappointments aren’t as serious. You just move to the alternative path and move on with your life. You will have a liberating feeling by treating disappointments in this fashion.
Find someone to mentor or coach you.
If you get beaten down by disappointments, find someone who can lift your spirits by giving you guidance. A mentor will be able to evaluate what happened and determine how to move forward with your life or career. I have several people I go to for various situations. I don’t go to everyone for the same issue. I know my mentors’ strengths and gifts and I know who to go to in order to get the best advice for my current situation.
Learn a new skill to overcome disappointments.
If your disappointments stem from obsolete skills, do something about it. It’s never been easier to learn new skills, and in many cases, for free. I work in an industry that’s always changing so I am always taking a course on Udemy, Lynda or joining a paid mastermind to help grow various skills. The best thing about this is that you don’t even need to leave the comforts of your home to take advantage of learning. Most if not all can be done completely online. You should also consider joining professional organizations in your area. There is no greater learning than surrounding yourself with people who are doing what you are doing or want to do.
Consider the fact that others are worse off than you.
Despite what you may be facing, others are experiencing worse situations than you. If you are healthy, and your prospects are good for getting yourself out of your current situation, don’t worry too much about disappointments. Give yourself some credit and have hope.
Here are some actionable steps you can take right now to get up and take control of your situation:
Map out a plan to learn a new skill. Even if you aren’t looking for a career change, it’s always good to keep relevant. Start out on YouTube.com to see what is available to learn for free and choose your interest. Then, write down the topics you want to learn about and seek out lessons and courses.
Write out what you are good at. What are your top talents and skills. Once you have listed them, then write out your passions. Those things that you care about the most and you enjoy doing.
Volunteer at least once a month. When you help others, you come to realize that your situation is not so bad. You should volunteer to help people and not to compare your situation against theirs. Still, it can be a great way to get some perspective. Contact your community for organizations that you can get involved with.
Join a professional organization that will help you advance your skillset. Gain a new skill by taking a course.
Take the past three disappointments and create a formal analysis of why they happened. Create a list of what went wrong along with what you could have done differently. Write down aspects of the situation where you had control and others where you didn’t. Use this as a guide to change the situation.
I want to hear from you. How do you deal with disappointments?