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When Life Knocks You Down…Repeatedly…You Can Get Back Up

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Have you ever experienced repetitive disappointment? I mean one upset after another where you feel like you will never get relief. It seems as if despair and hopelessness are affecting people globally. With the recent two high profile suicides from people whom had everything, we have been reminded that money, fame and influence mean nothing if you are emotionally bankrupt.

I’ve had my own personal struggles emotionally and psychologically over the past year. I recently had a conversation with my mother and she mentioned something that made me really think about my physical and emotional state. She said, “You have been sick every month in 2018.” It’s true and this made me sad that for some reason I have been battling with my health for the first half of this year. I even had a co-worker ask me if I was okay. She said, it seems like you cannot stay well. You need a break!

She’s right! I do need a break. How can the writer of this blog, Living in Your Sweet Spot, write to others about purpose, passion and pursuit and be struggling with finding her own sweet spot. Here’s some transparency for you: I completely understand what my gifts and talents are and even what my passions are. However, every time I’ve pursued my own dreams, my health is attacked. I am living in my sweet spot in all areas of my life but my health keeps knocking me down.

Earlier this year, a friend gave me some encouragement that I have been holding on to ever since. She said, “You may have bent, but you didn’t break!” What she meant was I maybe going through something very difficult but it didn’t and won’t destroy me. I still have hope.

Yes, hope! I love this word. When life knocks you off your feet repeatedly, hope gives you the strength to get back up. And, hope looks different for many people. Some people push on because of their children. Some because of their parents or spouses. I love my family but they aren’t the source of my hope. My hope is in God and He gives me strength to overcome life’s disappointments.

Anyone who tells you they have never experienced disappointments is lying to you and himself or herself. Everyone is going to experience some form of disappointment throughout his or her lives. Use the tips in this article to help you get through them.

  1.    Focus on the fact that life gets better.

Life goes on, so don’t get hung up on your disappointments. Moving on is your best defense against your disappointing experiences. There are a few instances where this isn’t true. But, overall, the sun will be shining tomorrow.

  1.    Use disappointment as a learning and growing experience.

Try to assess why you are disappointed. Is it something you did or didn’t do? If you have control on part or all of the situation, take note of what happened and try not to repeat it. If you don’t have control over it, move on. There is nothing you can do. You can’t change people but you can change you and how you look at the experience.

  1.    Learn from others who have experienced similar disappointments.

When you are going through a difficult time, it’s hard to consider someone else’s situation. You are consume with yours and nothing else matters. You can always learn from others who are experiencing similar or worse situations. Seek out these people and ask them to discuss how they dealt with their situations.

  1.    Set your expectations about disappointments.

When you expect a situation not to go your way, you will be better prepared mentally for when it doesn’t. Along with staying positive about the situation, keep trying other opportunities. When Plan A doesn’t work, Plan B could turn out to be the better option. This will only happen if you continue and not get tripped up by your disappointments.

  1.    Don’t dwell on regrets.

You can’t change the past, so don’t even try. Some people will spend a lifetime worrying about what happened in the past. They get stuck and forget to continue living their lives. Worrying about something you have no control over is counterproductive and pointless.

  1.    Have an alternate plan or two.

As I stated in #4, have other options. I can’t stress this enough. When you have an alternative route to take, disappointments aren’t as serious. You just move to the alternative path and move on with your life. You will have a liberating feeling by treating disappointments in this fashion.

  1.    Find someone to mentor or coach you.

If you get beaten down by disappointments, find someone who can lift your spirits by giving you guidance. A mentor will be able to evaluate what happened and determine how to move forward with your life or career. I have several people I go to for various situations. I don’t go to everyone for the same issue. I know my mentors’ strengths and gifts and I know who to go to in order to get the best advice for my current situation.

  1.    Learn a new skill to overcome disappointments.

If your disappointments stem from obsolete skills, do something about it. It’s never been easier to learn new skills, and in many cases, for free. I work in an industry that’s always changing so I am always taking a course on Udemy, Lynda or joining a paid mastermind to help grow various skills. The best thing about this is that you don’t even need to leave the comforts of your home to take advantage of learning. Most if not all can be done completely online. You should also consider joining professional organizations in your area. There is no greater learning than surrounding yourself with people who are doing what you are doing or want to do.  

  1.    Consider the fact that others are worse off than you.

Despite what you may be facing, others are experiencing worse situations than you. If you are healthy, and your prospects are good for getting yourself out of your current situation, don’t worry too much about disappointments. Give yourself some credit and have hope.

Here are some actionable steps you can take right now to get up and take control of your situation:
Step 1:

Map out a plan to learn a new skill. Even if you aren’t looking for a career change, it’s always good to keep relevant. Start out on YouTube.com to see what is available to learn for free and choose your interest. Then, write down the topics you want to learn about and seek out lessons and courses.

Write out what you are good at. What are your top talents and skills. Once you have listed them, then write out your passions. Those things that you care about the most and you enjoy doing.

Step 2:

Volunteer at least once a month. When you help others, you come to realize that your situation is not so bad. You should volunteer to help people and not to compare your situation against theirs. Still, it can be a great way to get some perspective. Contact your community for organizations that you can get involved with.

Join a professional organization that will help you advance your skillset. Gain a new skill by taking a course.

Step 3:

Take the past three disappointments and create a formal analysis of why they happened. Create a list of  what went wrong along with what you could have done differently. Write down aspects of the situation where you had control and others where you didn’t. Use this as a guide to change the situation.

I want to hear from you. How do you deal with disappointments?

 

Tags : growing from disappointmentshow to bounce back from disappointmenthow to handle disappointmenthow to move on from regretslearning a new skilllearning experiencerebounding from disappointmentwhen life knocks you down
Kesha Holloway

The author Kesha Holloway

Kesha Holloway is the founder of Living in Your Sweet Spot. She is passionate about being a wife and mother and desires to align herself with women equally passionate about their families. She believes the woman is the backbone of the family unit and it's her mission to help lift women to achieve their purpose.

31 Comments

  1. This is a great article. I know exactly how you feel. I too have been struggling with my mental health this year and it’s an ongoing fight. Our mental health can definitely affect our physical health. These are great tips and I wish you all the best!

  2. Such sound advice and I’m so sorry you’re going through a rough patch with your health Kesha. It happens to us all at some stage or another. The best advice my Mom ever gave me was to not let my own jug of “giving” run dry. Sometimes you need to fill it up by giving back to yourself so you’ve got something to give to others. You’ve spent so much time building up other people, perhaps you need to take a little time to focus on you again

    1. Yup, you are right! I have to take times where I focus on me and have my time to rebuild. I’m the best mom and wife when I am rested and healthy. We all are! 🙂

  3. Sorry to hear that you’ve had a bit of a rough start health-wise to 2018 😕 hopefully by putting some of these tips and advice into practice, you’ll be fighting fit again 💪 x

  4. These are great tips for anyone who experience repetitive disappointment. My favorite would be point 2 =>USE DISAPPOINTMENT AS A LEARNING AND GROWING EXPERIENCE. Only that we learn and prevent from future disappointment.

    1. Yes! Disappointments and conflicts stretch us and our character. We can’t always help what happens to us but we can help how we respond.

  5. Emotional read for me. I totally believe in hope. Hope in God. Because that is the only source of hope on which our faith rests that makes us sail in life overcoming struggles.

  6. Im sorry you have struggled so much this year and I hope you find an inner peace.. I have had my share of struggles but I tend to look at ithem as stepping stones that got me to where I am now and I don’t look back…

  7. This article conveys so many important ideas! You are right, first things first, and when everything seems to go wrong taking a break sometimes is a good thing. I have had a few years of terrible stuff happening to us (husband and I). It seemed the universe was against us! But we survived, and although we haven’t reached a perfect balance we are way better now. I wish I had this kind of articles to read back then.

    1. Yea, life is full of ups and downs. The good news is you went through the difficult times together and were able to help each other through.

  8. This is a great post with really great advice. It’s so easy to get overwhelmed when things are going right. Taking a step back to see what actions you can take and lessons you can learn is really helpful.

  9. What a really motivating post this is. I think we all face times where we think there is no way up but there really is. This is so very helpful.

  10. You are amazing! Love this sage advice and especially the actionable items you listed. Affirming all that is conspiring to my favor, and self-adjusting to my good is also a great help to hang in there for me. Thank you for sharing your vulnerabilities – for this courage – we keep getting better and better <3

  11. It’s so good that there is more and more out there written about mental health, as it is something that affects us all, although some much more than others. Your tips are really helpful and encourage hope and positivity. Something we should all try to focus on more.

  12. These are all such helpful tips! It’s important to remember what really matters and focus on bettering yourself and helping others do the same (I.e. from volunteering). What an important post, especially seeing as depression seems to get swept under the rug all too often.

  13. These are some great advice for those who experience repeatedly disappointment. and sorry to hear about your sorry, such an emotional to read.

  14. I totally get how you feel! I feel the same sometimes and I’m blessed with my family, boyfriend, friends, and university, but sometimes it hits me so hard and I hate it because I know there isn’t any particular reason to it, so I try to work on myself and I try to be patient with myself. I start working more and I start learning a new skill, I totally agree with that one!

    I’m pretty sure you will get on with this one and you’ll be very fine soon, cause you are a fighter!!

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